What if your feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and exhaustion aren’t simply just a “you” problem…not simply just a lack of sleep, and not even (dare I say) entirely a matter of “simply” having postpartum depression? It’s complex and layered. What if this is partly an “us” problem – a cultural standard of perfection that leaves moms feeling never good enough? That’s what “The Perfect Mother Myth” suggests – and I think it’s a really helpful framework for understanding and defining the dilemma that many mothers face when they step into my therapy office.
The next hugely helpful concept to unpack is maternal ambivalence – the host of conflicting feelings that don’t seem to fit together or even feel acceptable to feel or name. Part of healing and thriving means learning to hold the “Both/And.” It’s normal and acceptable and good to acknowledge all of the wide range of big feelings that come with motherhood.
Finally, what the heck is Matrescence? It’s like “adolescence” but for motherhood – the developmental landscape of becoming a mother. This journey of transformation is meant to be hard and messy. Let’s fully understand and find our way through these changes of body, relationships, and identity together; not alone.
If you’re wanting more on these topics, download this toolkit with prompts and links to further explore these ideas from the original sources – Jessie Harrold and Dr. Sophie Brock. Their research, books, and podcasts have deeply informed my work.
If you think it might be helpful to work through these ideas together, please send me an e-mail and ask for a free consultation. Often times a little extra support from the right people makes all the difference.
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